I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize