He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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