the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize