I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she peed on how many people?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
