Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
