I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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