You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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