You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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