i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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