Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
