sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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