don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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