she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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