That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
