You're completely useless in the revolution.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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