I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
worst night to have a conscience
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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