Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
