its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
