I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
