why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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