we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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