I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
