I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
