I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
