We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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