I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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