She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
