My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do vagina's smell?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
