i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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