Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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