he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
