He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
