why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
