i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
