Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
