He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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