worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
