Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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