The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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