Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
nutella sex= disaster
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
