Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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