everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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