If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
