Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
