you would pick up someone in the library
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
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Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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