so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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