We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
