Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
