thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
