What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
