dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
