I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
