i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
