well most of my day revolves around power hour
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
