she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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