you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
