I'm really into asian looking animals
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize