She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
