I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
