It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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