I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
