pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
