I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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