her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
