he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
